巴黎雷欧《情绪管理十二讲》（第2版）第一讲：轻松成功，有秘诀吗？

《情绪管理十二讲》（第二版）

注：华文由法文翻译而来

《情绪管理十二讲》巴黎雷欧（YouZHi Ren）著

原书名：Paris gold Key（巴黎金钥匙）

Léo Paris 巴黎雷欧著

内容简介

这是一本从非常别致的角度解析情绪管理的著作，是从作者的系列心理学讲座中挑选出来的。巴黎雷欧（李由、任由之）的系列心理学讲座，在法国、美国青年中颇受欢迎，特试译为中文版本。

巴黎雷欧著有《简明国际商务》（欧盟版）《法国现代书画艺术评论》（英文版3卷）和《雷欧带你认识法国》《雷欧带你认识巴黎》等书籍。

由于巴黎雷欧现系巴黎远东文化艺术协会负责人，巴黎雷欧艺术馆及版权交易机构负责人，工作繁忙，此译本尚未得巴黎雷欧先生审阅，特此说明。

第一讲轻松成功，有秘诀吗？

当我们想到成功的时候，我们往往把重点放在努力工作、坚持不懈、勇气、纪律等方面。总之，这些都是令人钦佩的性格特征，但没有一种落实起来是令人愉快的，实际上。

那么，有没有什么或任何技术可以使这个艰苦的过程变成一个更流畅、更愉快的旅程？答案当然是肯定的。第一个关键是帮助自己改变自我的态度，就是实现优化的心态。

除了少数例外，我们几乎总是从个人伟大的意义上获得某种程度的满足感。也就是说，在我们成功了一件事之后，我们感觉很好。当我们周围的人对我们取得的成就表示赞许和钦佩时，我们感到振奋。然而，这种自然心理模式的危险在于我们倾向于在处理消极情绪上花费大量时间。原因很简单，因为赞美的时刻本质上是罕见的状态。

因此，当启动一个项目时，全力以赴为最后一个荣耀时刻打赌，只是一个快速退出的秘诀。要克服这个障碍，我们需要一个坚实的战略。当然，你可以遵循“一切皆为痛苦”的哲学。所以，你承受得越多，你就越趋向于成功。但是这种方法只能在你的精神崩溃之前，遵从自我的虐待狂本性而工作。或者，你可以选择流行的逃离方法：找到你真正热爱的东西，然后把它变成你生活的项目。

但老实说，这不比一个小孩的幼稚梦想好到哪里去。首先，不是很多人对自己所热爱的事物有肯定的把握。很多人，包括我在内，在被问及他们的激情时感到很不自在。其次，对某事充满激情并不一定使人有才华。我是一个很好的例子：在我年轻的时候，我非常喜欢玩电子游戏，至少10年的时光，我对它充满了激情和痴迷。

讽刺的是：在我玩过的所有游戏里，我的技术都非常的糟糕。那么，应有的沉思是：不要误拿你的玩游戏的冲动去当作你的玩游戏的才华。

所以，对我们中的很多人来说，改善人生的进程至少包括两件事，一是，试着看看，它是否有效，二是，看看我们是否喜欢它。优化思维的关键适用于这种情况：在评估某事是否有效的过程中，如果我们喜欢的话，我们可以经历情绪和动机脆弱的阶段，那时我们很容易丧失信心。

我们应该做的很简单：专注于我们每天在项目中所做的具体工作，花时间分析过程，并努力优化每一天。这将使我们能够从当前令人失望的现状中解脱，忘掉不该有的想法，获得所期望的最终结果。最重要的是，这一策略使我们能够对每一次不定时的应用于我们工作中的小改进产生一种满足感。

总而言之，从统计学上说，我们在生活中所做的所有小的优化，都会在长期内，产生巨大的积极影响，而且通常也会立即带来改变。所以，这种心态，首先是缓解我们在争取成功的过程中的精神压力，第二，它会客观地使我们在当时表现得更好。

Key to success with ease

When thinking about success, we tend to focus on hard work, persistence, courage, discipline, etc. All in all, those are admirable character traits, but none of them appear pleasant right away, let’s be honest.

Is there anything or any technique that could turn this painstaking procedure into a more fluid and more enjoyable journey? The answer is of course yes. The first key that helped me to change greatly my attitude, is the mentality of optimization.

With few exception, we almost always draw some level of satisfaction from the sense of personal grandeur. That is to say, we feel good after we have succeeded one deed. We feel boosted when people around us show their approval and admiration to what we’ve achieved. The danger however, for this natural mental pattern is that we tend to spend a lot of time in negative mood. The reason is simple, as glorifying moments are by nature rare in life.

Thus, when launching a project, going all in to bet on the final glorifying moment is just a recipe to fast quit. To overcome this obstacle, we need a solid strategy. You could of course go with the philosophy that all “suffering” is necessary. So, the more you suffer, the more you deserve a success down the road. But this method can only work so much before you reach a total mental break down due to its sadistic nature. Or, you could choose the popular urban escape: find something you are truly passionate about, and then turn it into your life’s project.

But honestly, this one is not so much more than a child’s dream neither. To begin with, not a lot of people who are positively sure about what they are passionate about. Many people, me included, feel quite dry when asked about their passions. Secondly, being passionate about something does NOT necessarily make the person talented for it. Me as an excellent example: I loved so much playing video games during my younger years, it was a passion/obsession for me for at least 10 years.

But the sad thing is, I was absolutely horrible at almost all the games that I played, bummer. Thus, there’s a saying that many of us should meditate over: don’t mistake your impulse to do something for your talent for it.

So for many of us, the journey consists of at least 2 things, try something to see if it works, and at the same time, to see if we like it. The key of the mentality of optimization is applicable for exact this scenario. During the process of evaluating if something works and if we like it, we could go through stages where our mood and motivation are vulnerable, and we are prone to demotivation.

What we should do is simple: focus on the concrete tasks we do every day in our projects, and take our time to analyze the process, and try to optimize it each day. This would enable us to remove our minds from obsessively comparing the final result that we want and the current disappointing status-quo. Most importantly, this strategy enables us to draw a sense of satisfaction over each small improvement we apply to our work every now and then.

In conclusion, statistically speaking, constant small optimizations of all that we do in life will have a huge positive impact in the long run and quite often brings changes immediately as well. So, this mentality is first of all an ease on the mental strain during the process of fighting our way to success. Secondly, it would objectively make us better drastically at what we perform over time.

情绪管理十二讲LéoParis –巴黎雷欧目录

（中文译本未经巴黎雷欧审阅）

第一讲轻松成功，有秘诀吗？

第二讲给你的“自律”放个假

第三讲决策，可能是伪装的逃避

第四讲成功的关键在于效率

第五讲毒性人格，为何不能正常诠释

第六讲情感脱节，一个危险的症状

第七讲情绪化，恰恰是因为缺乏感性

第八讲强烈感觉与自我意识

第九讲治愈厌倦，参与周围的环境

第十讲不要让你喜欢的东西杀死你

第十一讲社交障碍治疗——消除隔离

第十二讲乐趣和成功之间的差距

Paris gold Key巴黎金钥匙

Léo Paris

Catalog

Key to success with ease

Give your poor self-discipline a break

Decision-making, a highly disguised escape

Key to successwith efficiency

Toxic personality, why some people are impossible to reason with

Disconnected of one’s emotion, the real symptoms

One is extremely moody because he is NOT emotional

Open mindedness and self-awareness

Cure to boredom, engage the environment around you

DON’T find something that you love and let it kill you

Social accessibility, one major cure for social isolation

The gap between having fun and being successful

巴黎雷欧：GLC（Galerie Leo et Co）创始人，著有《国际谈判哲学》（法文版）《国际谈判实务》（华文版，多家考研机构参考书）《跨国公司内部谈判效益论析》（法文版）《法国现代书画艺术评论》（英文版3 卷）《远东文化艺术》（法文&华文）《情绪管理十二讲》（英文版&华文版）和《雷欧带你认识法国》（英文版）《雷欧带你认识巴黎》（英文版）等书籍（学习微：LeorenFR）。